Lessons in Cleaning

When it comes to chores around the house, I generally consider myself a jack of all trades. Need dry wall put up? No problem. Need to take down a light fixture and put in a ceiling fan? Sweet, I’m in. Tree need cut down? Name me a time and place. I’m rather handy. What I don’t know what to fix, I’m atleast experienced enough to be able to figure it out. I quickly realized while starting my journey being a stay at home dad that there are certain things that I was wholly unprepaired for! Crayons and Poop!

First off I love crayons. I will sit with my daughter and color with crayons for hours on end. We can’t go through paper quick enough. My daughter will color all day long. My wife and I both encourage her. I have a background in art and graphic design and got a lot of pleasure from creating art work. What I was not prepared for was when I looked at the wall next to our bookshelve in the playroom and noticed my daughter thought the wall was paper. Fine, most kids color on the wall. I’ve heard story after story after story. So, cleaning it became my priority. Not thinking, I grab a spunge and started scrubbing, and scrubbing, and scrubbing. You know what I got, a reb blob. Not what I expected.

I’m smarter than some stupid crayons, I thought! Apparently I wasn’t. Grabbed my sponge and some soap and scrubbed harder. Now I had a red and grey spot and successfully rubbed off more pain then crayon! In short, I found out my wife had several different techniques for cleaning crayons, while I apparently found out how to remove everything from a wall but crayon.

For those dads not in the know here are two techniques to spare your wall.

1. Take a hair dryer and use it to melt the crayon. This will help it to losen and come off more easily from the wall. Once its melting, take just take soap and water to the wall and it should come right off.

If this doesn’t get it off all of the way, or if you did what I did and made a red blob, go

2. Get yourself a magic eraser. They are called magic for a reason!

On to poop. I’ve delt with baby poop for a while. With it on clothes, on my baby, inadvertently on me. Well in the process of pottey training my daughter she has had a couple accidents. By accidents I mean sprayed poop on the carpet. I was completely not prepared for this. (My wife is a saint by the way, she has been pooped on or puked on more times than I can count, while I can count on one hand how many times either of those has happened to me).
Not wanting my daughter to be ambarrassed or me to have my wife come home to poop carpet, I tried to get it cleaned up. Boy did I try. Nothing was getting the stain up. I tried resolve, I tried other carpet cleaner. Nothing. I then thought, Hydrogen Peroxide, gets blood out of clothes, wonder what it will do to a carpet.

So I cleaned up all of the solid waste, got it out of there. I then dabbed up any other excess waste I could get. I then took a little peroxide and put it on the carpet in the corner to see if it would bleach the carpet. It didn’t. I then put a capfull on the poop stain and gently rubbed it in. With a little bit of rubbing, the Hydrogen Peroxide did wonders! (TEST YOUR CARPET FIRST! I DON”T NEED YOUR WIFE BLAMING ME FOR BLEACHING YOUR CARPET)

I know I can’t be the only person to realize this, but Mom’s have an awesome sense about them. They seem to inherently know what to do to fix the problem, stain, etc. It’s a skill I’m hoping is learnable!

Off to potty training!

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